Strange Hobbies & Very Bad Cats

So this weekend I spent 7 hours in a fire station's apparatus bay. I was a gruesome sight, what with the third degree burn on my elbow, and the serious bruising on my shoulder. Even worse was the jagged laceration on my forearm, but what topped it all off was the pencil impaled on my hand.

Don't worry, I'm fine! I was playing a victim for CERT, and all of the injuries were Moulage, applied by a few talented firefighters. Every three months or so a new group of CERTs graduate, and before they do they have to go through a grueling skills test. Part of the test is Disaster Medical, which is where I come in. I brush up my high school acting skills and play a poor bloody victim going into shock. The CERTs do their best to keep me alive, mostly by bandaging my wounds and lying me on my back and elevating my limbs. Which, by the way, leads to a heck of a head rush if you don't actually have blood loss.

Instead of the usual "CERT Lasagna" (cheap lasagna from CostCo), we had a hot dogs and salad for lunch, which greatly pleased me. If I never see another platter of lasagna from CostCo I will be a happy woman.

Fast forward to this morning when a simple thing like unplugging my cell phone from the charger turns into a disaster of it's own.

For some reason my phone isn't where I left it, charging on my shelf. I notice a few things have been knocked over, and don't think much of it, my cat likes to crazy around the apartment at 3am like most felines. So in my search for my phone, I grab the cord and find that it's underneath the bed, with no phone attached to it.

So I dive under my bed and start looking for it, can't feel it, can't see it. But my phone, like most, lights up when you call it as well as ringing. So I have roomie call, and all of a sudden there it is, blasting "The Piano Knows Something I Don't Know" by Panic At the Disco! in that area RIGHT in the center of my bed where it's out of reach from all 3 accessible sides.

Needless to say, now I'm pissed. I squirm around on the floor a little and try to reach it, look frantically for something to GRAB it, and nothing. Then it comes to me, ah-hah! My bed is a FUTON! All I need to do is tilt it up on one end, grab the phone, and go along my merry little way.

I grab the phone, and put the end of the futon back down...except it doesn't actually GO down! No no, instead the bottom of the futon is hovering 3 inches above the floor, the wheels showing no sign of actually touching the ground. We push, we push, we sit, we growl, we scream at one another, and finally roomie and I get it to the point where it's JUST barely on the ground.

The best part of this story? My phone got there because my cat likes the phone strap, and drug it underneath so he could keep it in his dragon layer of toys and pieces of plastic that he's not supposed to have.

Fantastic.